The Cycle Continues

My bad luck is going to become the stuff of legends if things don't change, and FAST.

In addition to all the catastrophes last week my microwave broke and my SUV is in the shop. Sweet.

In all fairness, my microwave is 10 years old. I bought that bad boy my freshman year in college so I suppose I got my $100 out of it. Unfortunately, it decided to go out right when I was trying to warm up a bottle for Seeley at 3am. Little Man screams something fierce when he's hungry. I have a bottle warmer, but really and truly the thing is useless. It either doesn't warm the bottle enough or gets it blazing hot. Many a bottle has had ice cubes thrown in it at my house to cool it down quickly and stop the screaming.

I'm waiting to replace my microwave with one of the stainless steel numbers that mount over the stove. Now I've just got to round up the cash and get the hubs finished on the dishwasher project before throwing another one in his direction.

Had to put my car in the shop this morning for a very ominous rattling sound. According to hubs it's only a loose fan (don't ask me-I don't speak car), but there are some other things that need attention as well and I've put it off for about as long as I can. So, Mr. Mechanic is also getting me repair estimates on new shocks and a tune up. Super. Luckily, the car is still in good condition just needs some maintenance I think. Unless Mr. Mechanic finds some problems, and he probably will knowing my luck.

I truly can't complain too much, my SUV has not had any major problems, as long as you don't count body work-what can I say? I'm cursed. Especially when you consider that my lovely is 6 years old and has 150,000 miles on her. That's right-150,000. My company has railroad branches all over the state and I'm constantly driving between them in my personal vehicle. Yup, no more company car. But that's a whole different story and we won't go there. So, we're going to keep patching my SUV back together until she falls apart.

Just plain bad timing all around.

And speaking of bad timing- yours truly has her 10 year high school reunion coming up in a few weeks. PPRD baby!! I didn't quite picture myself going to my 10 year reunion 3 months post-baby with an extra 18 pounds that is hanging on for dear life. Under normal circumstances I would be quite proud of the fact that I've lost 22 pounds of baby weight in 3 months. It took 9 months to pack it all on so I know it will not magically disappear. But these are not normal circumstances! If I keep to my workout and diet I might be able to drop another 5 by the reunion, but after that its going to be all about the wardrobe. Camouflage and flatter will be my two objectives and I'm already getting a migraine thinking about that shopping trip! Yikes!They were both totally worth it though!

Wish me luck! Or wish me skinny- it could happen!

Week in Review

Remember when you were a kid and you could use "time-out" during an event and everyone automatically obeyed? Or when you were able to "re-do" when you weren't happy with the outcome? I desperately wish that I could have used both of those this week!

Why? Well.....
because poor Seeley had a double ear infection and just did not feel well at all,
we found a water moccasin on our front porch,
it's the most dreaded time of year at work-budget time,
we discovered the Niagara Falls of leaks under our kitchen sink,
water was seeping up from under our kitchen floor thanks to Niagara Falls so now half of my kitchen floor is ripped up,
still no dishwasher thanks to the aforementioned issue,
handwashing dishes in the bathroom sink until the dam at Niagara is closed down.

Re-Do!!!

Only two bright spots to my week-
1. Jeremy turns 31 on Sunday and I'm super thrilled to still be in my 20's
2. Seeley was Baptised this past Sunday

He was such a good boy during the Baptism and as you can tell by the pictures he fell asleep almost immediately following. What made it really special was that he was Baptised with his cousin Parker.

Seeley and Emma are such a blessing in our lives. Whenever I feel a "re-do" coming on I just snuggle with the kiddos and all is right in the world again.

And having a hubs who will bring a Dr. Pepper to your office at 2 in the afternoon because you just can't face the upcoming budget meeting without some caffeine is definitely a blessing as well.
He calmly weathered my "I'm-freaking-out-and-don't-know-how-much-more-of-this-I-can-take!" storm this week like a pro. Best hubs in the world.

Granny Smackdown

Yes, I'm considering a Granny Smackdown. And even my hubs, who encourages me to let loose with my temper more often, is running scared. See I'm one of those people who will turn the other cheek a MILLION TIMES. I mean it really takes a lot to get me worked up. So, most people would be surprised to learn that I can give Jeremy a run for his money in the temper department with the right provocation. Main difference between the hubs and I is that he has an extremely short fuse and mine is a mile long.

So why do I want to wage war on a short little red-headed Granny? Because she demands to see my receipt every time I leave our local Walmart. Every stinkin' time!! For five years now this evil woman has stopped me every time she has door greeter duty and I'm unlucky enough to exit on her side of the store. You would think that after five years she would realize I'm not a shoplifter. The worst part is she will stop me NO MATTER WHAT.

Every single item in the buggy will be bagged. Stops me.
Didn't set off the alarm. Stops me.
Pretend I don't hear her asking to see my receipt. Chases me out the door and stops me.

When will the insanity end?? And technically, what she is doing is against the law according to my brother-in-law who is a former Walmart loss prevention agent and a current police officer. Legally, unless there is probable cause she is accusing me of shoplifting each time she asks to see my receipt. Apparently Walmart gets away with this because no one has the time or money to take the mega store to court over it.

I've managed to retain my politely rude attitude with her over the years. I have actually had very few cross words with her. "Really? Why are you stopping me this time?" "Seriously?" Honestly the worst I've done is try to set her on fire with my scorching evil looks. (Where's Carrie when you need her!?)
I've even held myself in check after she mentioned to Jeremy that I was"high strung" following one of his solo trips to Walmart. But this past Saturday she pushed me right over the edge.

Jeremy comments during a Razorbacks watch party at his parent's house that he was told earlier that day how he was the "nice and friendly half" of our marriage.

Snort/laugh. "Really? By who?"

"The door greeter that you hate at Walmart. She said hi to me on the way in the door and then stopped to tell me how nice and friendly I was, unlike my wife. And that she prays for me every night because I'm married to you."

WHAT????!!!!!

Psycho Granny is going down!

Down Down DOWN!!!!

My very stoic and cop-like brother-in-law laughed so hard I swear tears came into his eyes.

The Granny Smackdown is on folks. One of us will be walking away from our little exchange in tears and it will not be yours truly. By the time I finish telling her off I may need someone to post bail. If you hear on the news about a "mom of two going berserk at a local Walmart" you know the Smackdown went down.

Praying for my husband! Get real Granny! Start praying for yourself cause I'm coming after you with a vengeance.

Glass Half Empty or Half Full?

We've had a lot of firsts at our house this week. Good firsts and bad firsts. Since I'm the eternal optimist and Jeremy is the eternal pessimist I feel it's only appropriate to figure out both the good and the bad for each of our firsts.

1. First day back to work/daycare for the kiddos

Glass Half Full: I already know the daycare workers so Seeley is in good hands and I'm not stressing as much as I did with Emma. Adult conversation and clothes that don't consist of an elastic waist.
Glass Half Empty: Missing out on special time with the kiddos and some much needed sleep. The finding of clothes that fit without an elastic waist is difficult and depressing.

Don't the kids look adorable? Seeley had to let the ladies know he was coming . . .

2. I joined the YMCA

Glass Half Full: It feels good to be working out again, even if it is during my lunch break and I come back sweaty and stinky.
Glass Half Empty: I know that you go to the gym to get into shape but I can't help being embarrassed at how OUT of shape I am. Yes, I know I just had a baby. But the other people there don't know that. To them I look like just another fat slob who is trying to catch up on a New Year's Resolution. Sigh.

3.Emma started a gymnastics class.

Glass Half Full: She L.O.V.E.S. it! Best way ever to run off some excess energy and it so cute to watch.
Glass Half Empty: Class is in Hot Springs from 5:45 to 6:30 and totally throws us off our nightly schedule. I'm hell on schedules.

4. Emma had her first haircut.

Glass Half Full: She thought it was the coolest thing ever and her hair looks so much thicker and healthier without all the uneven layers.
Glass Half Empty: My baby is growing up! Wah!

It's hard to tell in the after pic but her hair is in a cute little bob right above her shoulders.

5.Your truly got her first (and hopefully last) case of staph infection

Glass Half Full: It's on my legs so I can cover it up and am not at risk to contaminate others. Shower is 5 minutes long tops.
Glass Half Empty: Shower is 5 minute tops because I can't shave my legs until I'm finished with the antibiotic. 7 days people. I'm going to need a weed whacker by day 7. Never in my life have I had to do anything more disgusting than let my leg hair grow out. Never.

6. Escaped convict loose in my "neighborhood" and law enforcement didn't catch him until this morning.

Glass Half Full: Can't really think of one. Does sleeping with a gun count?
Glass Half Empty: Since Jeremy literally leaves in the middle of the night for work I was home alone with the kids. Had nightmares all week and freaked out at every little sound.

I can't wait to see what this week brings!

Final Celebration of Summer

Is anybody else ready for fall? Fall is my absolute favorite time of the year and I'm getting a little antsy for it to hurry up and get here already! My fall fever really kicked into gear yesterday when I was at Hobby Lobby and they had out all of their fall decorations.

So, since it was back to work and back to "school" (daycare) for the kiddos this week we decided to take one last family outing last Wednesday to officially say goodbye to carefree summer days. We took Emma to Mid-America Museum and spent about 3 hours exploring the place from top to bottom. I have not been to Mid-America literally since elementary school. But I've got to admit it was kind of fun; Emma had an absolute blast. She and Jeremy were running all over the place trying out everything they could get their hands on. I'm really not sure who was having more fun . . .

There were two exhibits Emma was too afraid to do- an underground mine exhibit and an earthworm. Both involved crawling around in dark spaces and even though Jeremy was with her she was not having it. Jeremy was pretty disappointed because he really wanted to go through the mine exhibit because it had tunnels and rope bridges and other cool stuff. He tried for like 30 minutes to get Emma to do it. She finally said "NO Daddy. I don't want to do it, you go by yourself!" Ha! The last time Emma was at Mid-America she was with her cousin Holton and would follow him through the dark tunnel exhibits; I guess Daddy just wasn't cool enough. I told Jeremy not to worry-next time we'd bring Holton and let the two of them go through the mine so Jeremy wouldn't feel like a pedophile going by himself!

Emma thought the toilet water fountain was the coolest thing in the world. And yes, I've been keeping a watch on her at home to make sure there are no repeats of this. We had a LOOONG talk about how special this toilet was!

I did have more pictures but there is something crazy going on with my computer and I can't find the pictures to save my life. They're here somewhere . . .

Time Flies

How on earth has it been 8 weeks already? I go back to work on Monday and I have a lot of mixed feelings about it. I'll be super sad to miss out on all of my Emma and Seeley time, but it will be nice to wear something other than spit up all day and to have some adult conversations. Not to mention the fact that I think Emma is getting bored out of her mind. She told me earlier this week that I was boring and she was ready to go back to school and see her friends. Stab a knife in my heart why don't ya?! But, I can understand where she's coming from. At school she has tons of things to occupy her and they are constantly moving from one structured activity to another. My structure has been seriously lacking lately! I know both kids will be well taken care of at daycare so we'll just all make the best of it. Mama's got to help bring home the bacon!

We've also got lots of new things coming up next week. Aside from the return to work and Seeley's first stint in daycare, we've decided to put Emma in gymnastics. I really think she will have a blast and there is a place in Hot Springs that a lot of parents I know take their kids to and they just rave about it. So come Monday the Johnson household will have a gymnast in our midst. I've already made her try on her little gymnast spandex leotard and she looks ADORABLE. Pictures will definitely be coming from her first day. It was really important to me that she get to do some sort of activity because I never got to do anything when I was growing up. I was able to play softball a few summers in elementary school but that was it. I didn't get to participate in any other sports or activities until Junior High. How lame is that? Most firstborn kids get all the perks, the exact opposite at my house. But enough of my whining . . .

I've decided to sign up for a gym membership. Jeremy and I both belonged to a gym several years ago but let our memberships lapse. On Monday yours truly is joining the YMCA. (You've got the song stuck in your head now don't you?!) It has been near impossible to work out in the evenings between cooking dinner, baths, bedtimes, work, etc. So, instead of enjoying a nice leisurely lunch break each day I'm going to be sweating it out at the gym. Lots of deodorant will be necessary to pull off this feat but I'm determined to make it work. Besides, I work with nothing but men anyway- they'll just think they're smelling themselves in the afternoons! Ha!

Planning for Emma's birthday party is well under way too. She has requested a mickey mouse party and I am having a ton of fun with this theme. I'm not going to give anything away yet, but lets just say its going to be AAAWWESOME!! The hit of the social season for sure- she'll be the coolest kid at daycare!

I'm also planning my 10 year reunion. Man I'm getting old quick! The reunion is in approximately 2 1/2 months so I've got some serious work to do. It may wind up being a half-assed production if I don't get my butt in gear soon. Definitely on the agenda for next week.

Let's see-what else is new? Jeremy almost died today and didn't even know it. After washing all the dirty laundry in the house this morning- 5 loads folks- I come across not one but THREE caches of dirty clothes cleverly hidden around the house. THREE!! I mean come on- if you go to the trouble of HIDING the clothes, how much harder is it to actually put them in the dirty clothes hamper conveniently located not far from the bathroom? He swears he wasn't hiding them but had lost them instead. Sure. And I'm the Queen of England.
And just for the fun of it . . .

SAHM

No, this is not a declaration of my intention to become a stay at home mom. Can't afford it, gotta work. But I am enjoying my stint as a SAHM. Don't get me wrong, it has its moments. Moments of pure insanity where I'm afraid I'll rip out all of my hair and Jeremy comes home to find me waving a white flag of defeat. But it is so special to get to spend this time with Seeley and Emma. Emma amazes me on a daily basis and keeps me laughing constantly (even when I'm wanting to beat my head against a wall). I just had to share a few of the oh-my-gosh-did-she-just-say-that phrases that I've overheard from her this week.

• "Whew! Mommy I don't like Seeley's poopies!"
• "I want to feed Seeley" as she lifts up her shirt and points to her chest
• "I'll help you pay bills. Daddy will give me money."
• "Boom shacka lacka"
• "Gracias" Thank you Dora. Em uses it correctly too.
• "I can't hear you, you're too far away" Her excuse to ignore what I'm telling her.
• "I've told you a million times."
• "FINE!" When she doesn't get her way.
• "Princess Fiona, where are you? Shrek wants his dinner!"
• "Seriously"
• "I'm counting to three . . ."
  
• "But Mommy, I'm a good girl. I'll listen. I love you so much." She totally knows how to make me feel terrible for getting onto her.
• "I'm a crab-apple." In response to me asking why she was not being a good girl.
  

She is such a mess. I'm going to miss spending so much time with her, but I think she'll be glad to go back to preschool and play with her friends. I think spending so much time at home with no one to play with is getting old.

I dodged a bullet with her this past week. We went shopping for some sneakers since she had outgrown her other pair and needed new ones for school. She found this terrible pair of Dora sneakers that were gold foil and pink on the outside. The absolute ugliest things I have ever seen; but she was totally in love. After trying on 10 pairs of shoes I finally managed to distract her enough to sneak some Skechers into the mix and those are the shoes we walked out with. She remembered the Dora shoes when we got home though and was kind of pissed. She threw her shoes across the room crying "I don't want these shoes. They're stupid!" 20 minutes later she was back to loving them. Thank goodness for short attention spans!

I know the day will come when I'll eventually have to buy her something that I think is tacky or terrible. According to my mom you just have to grin and bear it. She had the nerve to compare this situation to my obsession with everything Punky Brewster when I was little. I rocked the multicolor hi-tops and 4 pairs of socks at a time and was totally awesome. So not the same thing!

And speaking of Dora, my mom got Em this doll the other day. It talks and sings and dances. Emma is loving this doll. It creeps Jeremy and I the hell out. Am I the only one who thinks of Chucky when looking at this doll? I don't think so. I keep hoping she'll get tired of it soon but no luck. I shut it up in the closet at night. Don't judge.