I love Christmas time. The smells, the lights, the food . . . and this year due to baby #2 I'm loving the food a little more than usual. Next weigh in is not going to be pretty. Oh well. But, this year I'm having a little bit of trouble getting into my normal yule tide spirit.
Last week was a very rough week for the Johnson family. Emma was sick almost all week. The kind of sick that didn't let mommy get more than 3 hours of sleep a night. I was able to stay home with her for two days, then Jeremy kept her one, and my mom the other. So, I was going to work in zombie mode. And it was a crazy week at work. Apparently someone announced a new deadline on all projects and it was December 25th. Yuck.
But, the worst part of last week was the loss of our fur-baby Dakota, a 12 year old black lab. (And I feel terrible that I can't locate a picture of her on my computer. It's been a long time since we'd had a photo shoot.) Dakota went into the vet on Monday night and had to be put to sleep on Thursday. She has been with us since we started dating. I claim her because I loved her, but she was 100% Jeremy's dog. She played with me and Emma, but it was Jeremy who she followed tirelessly. She literally shadowed every step he took. I don't know if the lab breed are just loyal in general , but I like to think it was part of her personality too that made her such a terrific dog.
Jeremy was and still is heart broken. If you know us you know that dogs are more than just pets; they're family. He wanted her brought home so I went to pick her up and it took everything I had in me not to go ballistic on the people at the vets office. They carried her out to me in a trash bag! I wanted to just scream at them. I had hoped to get her home before Jeremy could see but as luck would have it he was waiting for me at the house. His dad offered to stay and help with the burial but Jeremy insisted on doing it alone. I don't think I have ever seen anything as heartbreaking as watching him pet her and talk to her one last time. It was freezing outside and I had taken Emma in out of the cold, but after about an hour I bundled her up and we went out there because I just couldn't stand him doing it alone.
So, I'm working up to my Christmas spirit this year. I know the reason for the season, and I rejoice in our Lord. But the other things I usually enjoy: baking, carols, etc. are just not as easy to come by. My goal this week is to find my Christmas cheer and make this a memorable holiday for Emma. Hopefully by doing that I can help pull Jeremy out of his funk as well.